Mystery to Myself: A Self Reflection on.."Who am I?"
- sagemaster20
- Sep 6, 2025
- 3 min read
The Timeless Question
“Who are you?" A question that has swirled around rent-free in my mind for years. Sometimes asked directly, other times quietly lingering in the background of my life.
The main source of this asking has come from someone I call my living guardian angel — my Daddy. As a fiery Sagittarius, my father is one of the most introspective men I know. He’s always pushing the envelope with deep-dive questions that make you second-guess yourself, but in the best way.
Lessons from My Father
Out of all the life lessons he has taught me, this particular question has stuck with me the most. And truthfully, I’m still not entirely sure how to answer it.
Most of us might say we’re students, mothers (like myself), businesspeople, or spouses. And while those roles are true, they aren’t who we are. They’re simply titles that describe the parts we play in other people’s lives.
Some might go further and say they are kind, charismatic, or generous. But even these are not the essence of who you are — they are characteristics. Pretty words to describe your tendencies, not your true being.
A Social Media Spark
Recently, I came across a post by @brittainynoel that brought me back to this very question. She spoke about how many of us are in an “identity crisis.” We’ve been taught to define ourselves by what we do for others, by our “fix-it” mindsets.
As a recovering people-pleaser and fixer myself, her words hit home. Between growing my business and juggling motherhood, I realized how easily I was slipping into defining myself by what I do rather than who I am.
Struggling with Self-Definition
In the post, she asked a woman to name five things she loved about herself. The woman struggled — and so did I when I tried to answer for myself.
Then came the reframe: If you were to remove all people, job titles, and roles… who would you be?
That question scared me. My immediate thought was, “I’d be nothing. Nobody.” But deep down, I know that isn’t true. The truth is, I just don’t know the words to articulate who I am without the labels.
Maybe there aren’t any words. Maybe it’s found in the way I move through the world, in my actions, in my energy. Perhaps “who I am” is just like my healing journey — something that never really ends or has a final answer. Maybe we don’t define it… maybe we simply become it.
A Tea for Thought
For now, I’ll let the question steep a little longer. I’ll sip my tea, hold space for the mystery, and leave it as a well-steeped tea for thought.
🌿 Tea Ritual: Mirror in My Mug
Steep Sacred Smoke™ (or whichever tea speaks to you in this moment) at 205°F for 5–6 minutes.
While it brews, gaze into the steam like it’s a mirror of your inner self.
With each sip, ask softly: “Who am I beyond my roles?”
Don’t rush for an answer — let it arrive when it’s read
✨ Affirmation
“I am not my roles. I am not my titles. I am a becoming — whole, evolving, and enough.”
We're all walking through this Life within our own individual healing journeys. I dare say this particular task of ours will take some time, but with patience and dedication to bettering yourself, I do believe it will reveal itself to us all. Until next time...
Through Leaves & Love Always,
Dominique W., Tea.E.O. & Founder of SpeakTEAzy™
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